The difference between a man and a woman in understanding love and family
A man and a woman feel differently at the very beginning of a family life. Many women have a desire to preserve the style of premarital relationships so that a man always spoke compliments, gave flowers, gifts. Then she thinks he really loves her. And if he does not give gifts, does not say compliments, there is a suspicion: “Probably, I fell in love.” And the young wife begins to peer into him, ask questions. And the man does not understand why the woman is so restless, what happened.
When psychologists began to study this question, it turned out that at any stage in the development of a family for a woman it is important that the man speak to her something good, kind. The woman is so well organized that she needs verbal support. Men are more rational. And when men ask about exhausted feelings, they are surprised, and the majority say: “But we signed up, the fact is. After all, this is the most important proof of love. It’s still clear what else to say? ”
Women need evidence every day. And therefore the man does not understand what happens to her every day. But after all, he is worth nothing to bring and bring one flower. And the woman will blossom after that, the mountains will turn! She is important, but she does not reach the man. One man said that when a woman starts to get angry, he does not attack her, and says to her: “Even though you are angry, I love you all the same. You are so beautiful! What is happening to a woman? She melts and says: “It’s impossible to speak with you seriously.” We just have to feel each other and say the necessary words. As a woman is more emotional, it is necessary to give her this emotional support.
Even the very concept of “love and be together” is understood by a man and a woman differently. There is such a family of psychologists, husband and wife Kronik. They explored the question of how men and women understand what it means to be together.
By closing marriage, a man and a woman say: “I make a marriage by love. I love this man. And I want to always be with him together. ” It would seem that we speak the same language, we say the same thing. But it turns out that a man and a woman put different meanings in these words. What
The first and most widespread. When a woman says “to love and be together”, her presentation can be depicted in the form of the following model. If you draw circles: one circle, and the second circle is shaded inside. That’s what it means for a woman to “be together”. She tries to be in the center of her beloved husband’s life. Such women often say: “I love you so much that if you do not have in my life, then it loses meaning.” This is the very type of relationship, when a woman in a family life begins to cry or runs to a psychologist. She does not understand what is happening. “But we agreed to be together,” she says.
This woman makes her husband not just a husband and a loved one, she puts him above God. She says to him, “You are for me everything.” This is a violation of the spiritual law!
From a psychological point of view, such a woman in these relationships takes on the role of mother, and the husband makes a child. She re-educates her husband to the level of a whimsical child. “Look how I cook. You have a mug on you, a suppository is on you. Look how I get well. And come on this or that? You just love me! And I’ll let you down, sing a song. ” And the man gradually becomes a child from the head of the family. Who refuses to wear it in his hands?
It takes several years and the woman starts shouting: “I gave you all my life, and you are ungrateful!” “Listen,” says the man, “I did not ask you to do this”. And he is absolutely right. She seized herself on his hands, suffered, and then burst into tears. Who is to blame for this? A man should be the head of the family, and the wife should behave in such a way that he felt himself the head. She should not raise a whimsical child out of him. Love you need to know!
The second type of family is one hinged circle. The style “Do not step away from me, and I will not leave you”. Such a family is like a prison. Once in a student sketch, one student described this situation as follows: the wife as if to her husband “To the foot, to the foot!” She speaks this to the head of the family, to her husband! But after all he is not a dog! Why “to the foot”? At the same time, a woman comes to a family consultation and says: “You know, I suffer so much, and he is so ungrateful. He does not appreciate me at all! “At the same time, she sincerely believes that she suffers. And he does not understand that the strongest love for her is to herself. The husband’s attitude is humiliating, not as a head of the family, but as to whom one can say “Silence” and “To the foot!”
The next version of love and interpretation of the concept of “being together”. This variant is the most normal and human. If you depict relationships in the form of wedding rings, they will be a little overlapping each other. That is, husband and wife together, but not like in the second case, when the family is like a prison. Here, a woman understands that her husband is an independent person, he has the right to his experiences, his actions.
Not always they should walk foot in the foot and look in one direction, there should be respect for each other, trust. If