The very same! How to answer rudeness correctly
In the subway, in the store, or in the virtual space, make surealways be glad to shake your shyness here. How not to be confused, do not give yourself a humiliation and react to the situation dignified, we will try to understand. that you will
Why do people hang on. This question is just as eternal, how easy it is to answer him. Because they are evil! The weather is irritating to them, they did not get up from their feet in the morning, and the unpleasant conversation with the boss came out – please! Get in your address “Do not push, cow” from the woman you slightly put on the elbow in the bus. When a person has a bad mood, he longs for them to share. Because of this, it removes anger on the first one who falls under the hot hand. That is, on you. And, if we do not want to be warmed by this hot hand, you need to be able to properly respond to rudeness.
To begin with, we will define the goals and tasks of the conflicting. People involved in quarrels are different. This may be someone with whom you did not share your personal space (a fellow traveler in the subway or bus), this may be a person using him with you in service inequality (seller or cashier in the store, registrar in the clinic), and this may be an upsurge that to trembling in the members is pleased with the possibilities of the concept of “freedom of speech” and furiously hammite to anyone who is not (a resident of forums and blogs on the Internet). When we understand, with what type of rum we have a deal, it will be easier for us to defeat it.
Ham is tram. This collective image has already become a separate term. So I want to ask: why tram? As if public transport is the main place of residence of all the rats and scandals. Honey, what’s that smeared there? Or in a transport, people are struck by a special abusive infection? In fact, the source of tram rudeness is our animal nature. That is, the innate need for a personal area. It is worth you to accidentally hurt a lady’s handbag with which you entered the subway car together, as she probably will immediately bark: “Careful can not?” Or will express it in a non-printed form. But because her belongings and body are her private territory. Honestly labeled and inviolable. Do not be offended!
The quarrel, in science, is a combination of a conflict situation and conflict genes – offensive words or actions. During a traffic jam, emotions are turbulent, and replicas of quarrels are becoming more acute with each passing time. “Why are you so clumsy?” – “Yes, look at yourself!” – “Ah, I? Yes you are … “We are struggling to suppress an opponent. Do not do this! If you succumb to the temptation to answer the rude with great rudeness, then you can bring a tram quarrel to a real fight. With scratching the face and tearing the buttons. You can, of course, keep yourself in your hands, and silently listen to rudeness (thinking “What’s up with fools quarrel?”). But this is also not the most pleasant thing. Indeed, after such a shake for pride, you will at least get to your stop with trembling hands, trembling chin and mood devastated by the very dinner time.
So what should be? And let’s apply the method known in psychology, called verbal aikido. For this, the opponent does not need to respond rudely, and there is no need to come up with exquisite ways to give a foothold. It’s enough to use the words that your tram hum says, and turn them against him. For example, you entered the subway, pushed something in the middle of the car, and got up there. On one leg, and still by that, they unwittingly brought a woman with a very malicious sight from the spoiled space of space. Of course, a woman will immediately say something gall. Do not get lost! Let the conversation happen better between you:
– Girl, you push me. What are you doing?
– Yes, and how will you stand?
– But it’s uncomfortable for me!
– Yes, it’s uncomfortable.
– Go on!
– And you go on.
As you see, you have not said anything special: you did not insist, and did not remain a victim. You just repeated the words that you tried to use in the attack against you. Most likely, the woman is apostasy. And it will be late.
But this is just one sort of ham.
Ham bazarny. This is a completely different kind. The bazaar hams hides at any seller in the market, a cashier in the store, a cleaner or a guard. From the tram market, the turtle is distinguished by its special insolence and vanity. And after all, there is something! You are a guest and he is the master. He is in his own territory. And consequently, the bazaar huma is characterized by a sense of superiority.