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Veronika Khatskevich, a psychologist, tells about dependencies

Dependent relationships can be called the curse of the modern era. Many people suffer from them today, and the main reason lies in the psychological separation of the child from his parents, which has happened incorrectly. Such an injury will definitely make itself known in the future. Types of dependencies: what can be considered a norm The most obvious example of a normal interdependence is the time of childhood, especially the moment of appearance on light. Gradually, the child himself learns to define his needs, expressing them with a signal (cry and tears), so that they are properly satisfied with the parents. Further, if the separation process proceeds normally, the child develops a healthy personal space, and he will learn well and clearly understand the emerging desires and will be able to bring them the best way for them to the end. In the case when the needs of children are not satisfied, a state of complete despair and depression arises. And if frustration lasts long enough and regularly repeated, then the child eventually forms a feeling of weakness and helplessness. It must be remembered that such a move is not easy. In this case, the psyche will begin to develop a variety of protective reactions. Among such mechanisms, one can distinguish the tuning for the mother’s mood. The principle of work consists in the following: first of all, it should be done in such a way that the parents have no dissatisfaction, that is, and I will be pleased. So, the child will first and foremost satisfy the needs of the parents as they do their strengths and opportunities, and they will stop worrying about themselves. This will directly affect its future. Subsequently, he will find for the coexistence of individuals who will openly use it, there will also be problems with self-confidence, and self-esteem will be underestimated. And most sad, he may, in general, cease to realize that he sacrifices his own interests to a maximum. Thus, the nature of dependent relationships is manifested. The reason is in the trauma of impotence, which the child after he grows up, will generate and repeat in different ways. On this path, he will try to solve the issue of his injury, trying to complete the process of separation that was not brought to an end with his father and mother at the level of the subconscious. Contradiction This is when a person depends on his own independence. Contradiction is the isolation or removal directly from the object of dependence, in order not to encounter an eye to the eye with an intolerable sense of weakness. In this case, a restrained sense of fear of losing freedom is bound to arise. Reverse-minded people strive in any way to avoid emotional and intimate relationships. They can be open to all, however, fear of loss of freedom will not allow them to build long and solid relationships based on trust. Such people are capable of creating a cell of society, but in family relationships there will be no trembling love and passion. And in the soul, in turn, will be a yearning and emptiness, a sense of irritation and discontent with one’s life, the phrases “There is no point in life,” “I lost my self,” and others of this kind can pronounce. Actually, because of this, counter-independent individuals are subject to drug dependence, predisposed to drinking alcohol. In different types of relationships (at work, with friends, in private life), they will rush from the side of dependence towards counter-dependence, without obtaining the necessary harmony and balance. For healthy relationships, it is characteristic that each of the partners has the right to move freely between the dependence poles, looking for the best and most perfect option for themselves at the moment. According to Veronika Khatskevich, in order to learn this, therapy is needed. Because contact and communication with the psychologist gives the opportunity to disassemble and study the ancient phobias, and gives the person the potential on which he could base his feelings. In other words, the person is emotionally mature and acquires an important and necessary ability to preserve his integrity. Instagram: instagram.com/khatskevich_veronika
Source: http://artpsiholog.ru/veronika-khatskevich-o-zavisimyh-otnosheniyah/ © Psychology of Relationships

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