How not to become a mother for her own husband
Anya fell in love with the man of her dreams. Beautiful, gallant and very independent. “You will be behind him like a stone wall,” said her girlfriend. Cyril was older than her, caring for her beautifully: he dipped flowers, drove into restaurants, entertained and foresaw her slightest desires. However, from all desires, soon after, only one thing left: never to part with him.
And therefore, when he had made a proposal to her and they were married, Anya was happy and grateful. For her, she rushed from work (to meet, feed); for her sake, she turned the house into a cozy nest (he needed to relax, rest); for his sake, she refused all business trips and corporate parties (how could he remain alone without her care!) .
The result was not waiting for itself. True, he was not exactly what Anya was expecting. At first, Cyril was astonished and thankfully thanked her: “You are the first woman in my life that takes care of me so much.” Then I’m used to it. Then he began to wonder if she had forgotten to give a clean shirt or to prepare his favorite pie. Then he began to get annoyed and once dropped, taking his eyes in the next detective: “You drove me with my concern.”
Anya even sat down … She did not sleep all night, she remembered the beginning, the continuation of their relationship and came to a disappointing conclusion: the more she cared for Cyril, the more distant he became. She remembered his excuses, which earlier did not attach importance: “Dear, you better it …”, “I can not waste time, organize yourself …”. And then she summed up a sad conclusion: “I myself have spared it, urgent measures have to be taken.”
The fruit of your work
However, not only Anya, but many of us, recalling the wonderful beginning of their love for years, shrugged their shoulders in surprise: “Where did those caring, ready to rock into the fire and into the water, man?” How could he become a lazy, creature lying on the television? ” Although outside the home, in the world of his work, he is the same: active, assembled and even initiative.
And once the load, lying only on women’s shoulders, becomes too heavy. Now the woman is not silent, she begins to protest, to explain to her native man that it is impossible to live further. She conflicts, convinces him, but he does NOT understand! Or do not want to understand? And then some of the women give up and continue to silently carry the burden of care for their “big boy”, while others break up with such amorphous men in order to find others, affectionate and caring …
Find … and, alas, the story is repeated. And he did not know us, the beautiful half of the human race, that we ourselves do ourselves to such a man. We indulge in his natural laziness, let us not help and not participate, lose and forget, quarrel and blow, and shout, and whimper. And we get the FOUND OF YOUR LIFE – a kind of “big son”, who diligently throws up his love-loving “mommy”. After all, we often quite consciously behave towards men as mothers when we want to earn their love.
In every man, no matter how adult he is, a baby lives, from childhood he is used to women’s attention and care. He was cared for by his mother, the caretakers and teachers took care of him … And now, when he, being an adult, pays a woman, he emotionally returns to his careless childhood. A damn pleasant feeling! Therefore, he allows his wife to play the role of mother in his life.
A man pisses like a fish on manokes. It turns out that the “maternal” attitude is a way of obtaining the right man for himself. And then instinct shouts: “Take care of who you love!” A man quickly gets used to a sweet life. He may even seem that he will disappear without the “mom”. So a woman tied a loved one to her husband. Acquiring to receive more than to give, the man gradually assumes responsibility and the woman has to turn more and more more by herself.
And follow your beloved vigilant eye. But suddenly he will forget everything, confuse or die with hunger? The man loses the initiative, gives the reins of government in the hands of a woman. (Especially since in the role of “son” it is easier for him to live.) So a woman, entering into the role of “mummy”, inevitably begins to control his beloved man.
The symbol of happiness
To not turn into a mummy for your own husband, remember the 7 main “no”, which will surely help you. After all, every woman knows what to do for her beloved person. So why not remember what you DO NOT need to do? To not forget, write the number “7” and hang it in a prominent place. And to the husband’s question: “What is this?” – Just answer: “This is a symbol of our happiness.” Let it be your secret. It will only make you more attractive.
Do not hurry to help with your first call. Wait, maybe you hear only the echo of his old childish habit “mother, save me.” He will find a can of coffee or his briefcase with documents.
Do not solve his problems and do not do for him what he will handle himself. (If you’ve learned to hit the nails, believe me, he’s able to learn how to sew the buttons.) Distribute the responsibilities (or decide to