He sent himself – he is returning
Every fifth or sixth case in my practice involves the return of girls whom the boys abandoned themselves. The situation seems rather strange, but in reality it is a very common scenario. At first, we have relations where the balance of significance is shaken in favor of the guy who behaves appropriately – scores for a girl, does not value relations and demonstrates in every possible way that she is in his 20th place after fishing and a bar on Fridays. At some point the relationship collapses, but instead of the club or dating with new girls, a man turns out to be consulting me.
Often, heroes of similar stories take the decision to part, guided by the fact that the girl just got tired. Everyone thinks that they are worthy of the best, and throw the girl in confidence that soon crowds of beauties will come to her place, and everything will be obscured. But you do not get stuck. On the contrary, the familiar world collapses, it turns out that he does not need anyone anymore, and no one is in a hurry to go around, create comfort and comfort, as the former did. No feeling at home, quiet harbor. And the man very soberly, realizing that he lost.
So let’s figure out how not to get into this trap and what are the chances of returning a relationship that itself destroyed.
1. You have changed. For quite some time you have neglected to treat your girlfriend. But she was patient, closed her eyes to your attitude, and in some way you decided to stop her choice on her. And here there is a strong distortion. A man, endowing a girlfriend with a new, serious status, begins to greatly overflow the balance, merging under the plinth. Instead of adding a pleasant one to the girl without drastically changing the format of the relationship, the guy begins to pour her gifts, attention and stick to her, thinking that it creates a harmonious relationship. In the end, due to the fact that the macho turns into a mat, the balance swings to the other side, and the girl freezes.
How to fix it? The actions depend on what at the moment you have a relationship – if it starts to go away, include a symmetrical “farther”, reduce investments and balance the balance. In principle, with the first signs of distortion – this is enough. If the distortion is serious, and she has already managed to leave, act on the classics – pause, self-development, meeting and seduction again. This case is quite simple to return, and is rarely complicated by swings with periodic care. Therefore, when the relationship is set, you can not pull with a common life and wedding.
2. She is tired. The original situation is the same – you ignored the needs of the girl, plus and did not appreciate her feelings. At some point, the girl gets tired and distant. A man, accustomed to admiration and adoration, begins to twitch and make all possible mistakes – to find out relationships, to give gifts, to guard at the entrance. And there is a double trap: firstly, the girl is already in the negative because of the past poor relationship of the man, and, secondly, his significance has diminished in the process of conspiracies and attempts to return. As a result, the former is unpleasant to her both as a man and as a man.
How to fix it? This is a difficult option, because often a girl experiences HONEST. And the chances of a return depend on how much the girl is rooted in her negatives, and whether she is ready to change the opinion of you. From the former it is necessary to conduct serious conversations, they say, “we parted, I understand that it was wrong and made a lot of mistakes. Help me understand how to behave, so that in the future it will not happen again. ” And telling that the values have changed, that the most important thing in life is love, family, children … And even though you realized that the train was gone, but you want to share, because you are still close people.
The technique “and remember …” works efficiently, when you bring in the conversation the most lovely and warm memories of yours, some touching moments that are valuable to you, for example, how you dreamed of opening your own restaurant on the seashore or having 7 children and a huge dog. These conversations will help the girl understand that you appreciate her and dishonor her past behavior. If the former is a strong hatred or offense, you must first pause. Even after all this does not agree to the meeting? Not fate. Means negative and your past experience overweighed.
3. You left. The third option – live-lived, and at some point the girl bored. “She is sad”, – the man thinks and decides to part. For a girl it’s a blow, she starts to run for the former and persuade him to return. But after about 2 months, she realizes that we need to somehow live further and disappear from the horizon. Often this happens at one point. And the man starts to twitch because of a lack of attention. She was around and circled around, providing him with adoration, and then there was a vacuum. He tries to return her and, of course, immediately kisses, leaving under the plinth. It happens very quickly, because the transition from the alfac to the rag is noticeable and contrasting. This turning point in the balance is called the inversion of significance and it is very difficult to work with. Plus, very often the departure of a girl from the field of view means the appearance of her alternative candidate. By the way, very often such a scenario happens at home