The subtleties of communication with the former: the basics of sms-correspondence
It would seem that it could be simpler: she wrote an SMS, you answered, and talked. But it’s all on the surface. In reality, every communication between you carries two loads: semantic and emotional. The same case when the allocation of Caps Lock can be the beginning of a scandal, and a playful smiley – the beginning of new relationships. Here is an example of two completely different SMSs, with the same, seemingly, content:
You see, how big is the difference between them? If in the first case she is sad, then in the second – this is a playful mood and a hint that she wants to not only your attention. The answer to these two SMSs needs to be completely different: in the first case, sorry, but in the second, on the contrary, razozorit. This example is quite revealing, but more often there are more veiled variants, especially when it comes to correspondence with the ex-girlfriend. Therefore, below we made a brief methodology on how to correctly decode its SMS and how to answer them.
How to read its SMS
Initially, they defined emotion, which is carried by its SMS. Any emotion can be expressed in a few words: “I miss,” “I’m having fun,” “I want you,” “I’m bad,” “I’m offended.” The more precise you determine the basic emotion – the more accurate you will write an answer that will fit your goals.
The second step is to determine the degree of her interest in you. The degree of interest is determined arbitrarily: high, medium, low. If the girl drove you a sheet and every next message ends with the question – the interest is high. If she responds briefly, or, in general, she forgets to answer – she understands, she does not burn. Depending on the degree of interest, you can either invest yourself, reinforcing its initiative, or, conversely, force it to be invested, increasing its interest.
Identified in the SMS the presence of explicit and hidden proposals or provocations from her side. This will allow you to predict its expectations from your answer. You can decide whether to be predictable or not. We recommend alternating these strategies. For example, when a girl wants support, justify her expectation – answer as she waits. It will be on your arm. And if the girl frankly provokes, do not go. It’s better to take a pause in the correspondence – this will make her think of you better than any retaliation trolling.
Only at the very end, pay attention to the content of its SMS. The reason for the message and information is usually unnecessary decorations, tinsel, which distract from the essence. For example, the ex girlfriend appeared after a month of silence with such SMS: “Hi! Do you remember we planned to go somehow to the show like this? Have you been I got out yesterday. I really liked it. So many excellent works … “and then the story about the exhibition. How to read its SMS? Content of the message – a description of the cultural event. The message of the message is to cause a sense of nostalgia at those times when you went somewhere somewhere, then shared the impressions, in general, you were very interesting and interesting. The meaning of the message is to calibrate how much you miss it. This is precisely the case when you need to be able to read “between lines”. And the actual information is important for constructing a response frame. In order not to violate the rules of the game, support the given topic, and do so so that each SMS causes the emotion you need. But even if you understand the real reason for your correspondence, let the girl in the end voice her.
If you get a long SMS, characters of 200 or more (we call them “bricks” or “sheets”), then usually its emotion is at the very beginning, interest is almost always tall. The offer or provocation (what it really wants from you) needs to be looked at at the end, but at the middle of reading it is not recommended at all, it only distracts.
How to design a response
If you correctly read its SMS and understood its main message, it will not be difficult for you to come up with a good answer, which will cause it to have the right emotion. And under a good response, we mean a message that:
– corresponds to the purpose of your correspondence. Each correspondence in times of crisis should pursue the goal and be very thoughtful. There are no exceptions to these rules. Everything, up to the punctuation marks, emoticons and time of departure, is of great importance. Therefore, the main advice is to select words very carefully. And write briefly. The more the flood, describing its emotions, trying to figure out something, the more it reads your dependence, and the balance of significance is shaken. So if we have the goal of leveling the relationship, or returning an ex girlfriend, do not put emotions in your messages that you did not see in her sms. For example, the former writes to you: “Hi! How are you? “And you joyfully throw on the sheet to tell you how to get tired without it. Well, if you want to completely get rid of it, then such an answer is the right way to the goal. And you plan to return, answer symmetrically, extracting from the situation a profit for yourself: “Hello! Okay At work raised / With a parachute jumped / In Peru I go for a month. What about you? ”
– adequate emotions in her SMS. Emotional tuning (or, conversely, opposition) must