Psychology of online dating
When a person enters an account on a dating site or on a social network, he uses the technical means. But in fact, hardware is beginning to use it. Why is this happening? This is due to the feeling of anonymity and latitude of choice. False anonymity reduces chances, the breadth of choice ability to reduces the rational make that choice.
In fact, it’s not hard to get an account in several social networks and put out profitable information about yourself, true or invented. Thus, “avatars” come to the arena, which do not even have a minimum of feedback available to a person through personal contact. No feedback! With her absence and lack of information from the senses that allows her to solve her own, a psychic car produces a fantasy image, a phantom that is actually identical to the one who sees, feels and experiences it.
In fact, there are people who seriously believe that the Internet can help in getting seriously coming up to find a pair. Psychologist Mark Evgenievich Sandomirsky says he has experience in counseling real victims of online communication. It is about real people who wanted to find a pair in virtual reality. It turns out, according to the experience of the therapist, Internet love stops and collapses no less painful than the real one.
Remember the plot of the movie Avatar, how great was the disappointment of the main character who recognized the stranger in his beloved body! Sometimes – an internet dating ends so painfully that one has to turn to a real physician for help. Why? Internet dating is developing in correspondence, which allows you to get emotions stronger than real meetings. And, due to the fact that the person’s fantasy draws the ideal image is much easier than the same fantasy that works on the basis of physical reality, and not itself, feelings can be stronger. The same feedback is absent, which means that it is impossible to complete the relationship, so the Internet feelings can get stuck, because the person, purely technical, can not express them.
People who are looking for real love on the Internet are usually more vulnerable, have more complexes and are more difficult to meet in real life. Mark Sandomiersky believes that the Internet is more suitable for finding like-minded people. If a person makes a serious bet on finding love on the Internet, then frustration can be very strong. Therefore, when dating to the Internet, you should be prepared not only to have a face with a scammer, a maniac, a scammer, or a negative avatars. The Internet makes it easier to deceive, use the prospective partner. Feelings born on the other side of the wires are psychic reality. An experienced person may well wait until such feelings arise and, for example, ask for a little money. Or much, depending on the depth of the feelings created by the network partner.
Created specifically for student acquaintances, facebook has become completely different, social functions, and has become a kind of prototype of social capital. In a seriously urbanized country, the ease of network communication gradually leads to the autisation of users, especially those prone to this process. What is autism? This is a gradual reduction of real human contacts in society and the substitution of their contacts by virtual ones. Psychology accompanying urbanization leads to the tragic end of the very urbanization: to find a couple on the Internet, to meet – it’s a rare success, and let you be lucky!
Recommendations on the psychology of online dating
1. Remember that contact with you is not a real person, but an avatar. That is, a certain projection of the psyche to the available means of expression in the form of questionnaires, photos, texts and video files. Be indulgent, since the avatar is not a real person. But the Internet, allowing you to put on masks, also allows them to be removed. As a person is presented on the network, you can find Yandex and Google, with a little research you will get a lot of interesting information.
2. It’s harder to deceive the camcorder. If you have serious intentions, prefer video presentations. As a result of the complete abolition of anonymity, such presentations are rarely encountered on dating sites.
3. By entering into long-term correspondence, you risk to be tightened or trapped in your own projections, that is, to communicate with yourself, and not with another. Think about who you communicate with: in fantasy you can quietly switch to communicating with yourself.
4. Be sure that the more talented the writer of the letters, the less competent he is in life’s issues. There are exceptions, they are units. If the interlocutor devotes you poems and writes, cutting out sparks of feelings, maybe he wants recognition. Not the fact that he wants to continue to get acquainted in reality.
5. Internet communication is cheap enough. The presence of a large number of contacts does not require financial support. For relations in reality, a person must be incorporated into the society, and